


the end of the red thread

by Cloudnine101



Series: Stormpilot Stories [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Dancing, First Kiss, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5562364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudnine101/pseuds/Cloudnine101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe is beautiful and funny and kind. Finn has no idea what to do with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_1_

 

It takes Finn a while to realise, but it's true - Poe really _is_ that nice. Those pats on the arm, those smiles - he hands them out freely, and without remorse. Finn has trouble with that. He's always been best at looking over his shoulder.

Poe, as it turns out, has a family - two sisters and a brother back at home, and a mother and a father and a dog that runs to greet him when he comes down the drive. They live a long way away from here. They're nice, normal people - probably friendly, probably smart, probably pretty, probably just like Poe.

Finn doesn't know how to handle it. It's not that Poe's making things difficult - but he is, in a way. If he'd tried to fight Finn's friendship - stepped back, called him a Trooper, a traitor, a liar - then Finn would have known exactly where he stood. And now he doesn't.

"Morning, Finn," Poe calls out to him. He's striding along the front corridor, the one that faces out across the forest. There's a group of guys around him, and a couple of girls. The sight makes Finn's stomach churn.

"Morning," Finn replies. He can hear the ripple already - the slight pause in sound. It emerges whenever he speaks, and seems to cut up other people's chatter.

Jogging to his side, Poe presses a hand against his shoulder. He burns hot. "Hey. Mind if we talk for a second?"

Poe's friends are waiting for him. They're standing at the other end of the corridor. One of them - a girl with brown hair - leans across, and whispers something to the man on her right. He nods his head once and chuckles.

Finn allows Poe to lead him away. They end up outside. The base is quiet, here. Poe's fresh out of his jumpsuit, because Finn can still see the marks on his clothes. As if noticing, Poe makes a move to smooth them down. He smiles softly.

"I wanted to check up on you," Poe says. "We haven't spoken for a couple of days, have we?"

"No," Finn says. "I was busy. Sorry."

That's not exactly a lie. Finn _has_ been busy. He's been running around for hours today, going from debriefing to debriefing. Yesterday, however, he'd been hiding.

Poe's fingers are warm. Finn thinks vaguely about holding onto them.

"No worries," Poe says, but there's a hint of unease behind the words. "Just - come and see me when you can."

Finn says that he will, and smiles. Poe takes him to the end of the hall. His friends, as Finn turns away, begin to laugh.

 

.

 

_2_

 

Poe's a handsome man - black-haired and cheerful. He walks with easy confidence. He takes you in close to him, and slings an arm around your shoulders. He's charming.

Poe came from a house where everybody cared about everybody else, and nobody was left behind. That must be at least part of it. He had three square meals a day, at a table like the one Finn sees in the Resistance base's cafeteria.

Finn knows how charming people are capable of being, now. When he was a Trooper, it never seemed to matter how nice you were to everyone around you. Everybody got along the same.

It was the repetition that made him wonder, in the end, if it was worth it. That's what Finn doesn't tell Poe. It wasn't holding the gun that sickened him, or pulling the trigger, or pouring the oil and lightning it. It was the fact that they just kept going, day after day, and not making anything any better, or even _different_.

It isn't the right reason for wanting to leave a place, Finn knows - but with Poe, everything is action, and everything is left to chance. That's what's magnetising about him - or it could be. Finn doesn't want to give it too much thought.

 

.

 

_3_

 

In the mornings, Finn watches from the window as Poe's plane takes off. The engines roar, and the craft begins to hover. Finn strains his eyes, trying to make out Poe's face in the cock-put. Through the faded glass, he can't see much. Poe waves anyway.

"You really like him," one of Poe's friends says. "Don't you?"

Finn shrugs. "Yes," he admits. "I'm pretty sure that I do."

 

.

 

_4_

 

That night, in his sleep, Finn shoots Poe in the chest. Poe's trying to wrestle the blaster from his hands. He's angry; he's shouting at Finn to drop it before he hurts someone, but he isn't saying Finn. _FN-2187_ , he is yelling. _Trooper_.

Finn wakes himself as he pulls the trigger. He's sweating; running his hands across his face, he swings himself out of bed. The sun rises slowly outside the window. Finn imagines that he is on board a starship, far away from everything and everyone. Poe can fly out and visit whenever he wants to, of course. 

Finn heard a story, when he was a child, about a hero with a blue hand. Whoever he pointed at was struck with the oddest feeling - like they were about to fall down or sing. It's the closest analogy he can find. 

 

.

 

_5_

 

Poe is sitting cross-legged in his bunk, and throwing a ball against the wall. It impacts hard, and then thunks back to his hand. Finn watches the way his mouth contracts whenever he catches it. It's small and quiet - reserved, but still pleased.

Finn doesn't sleep in the same room as Poe. He has his own, until the Rebellion decides what to do with a former Trooper they don't know if they can trust. Finn doesn't mind, really. It just means a walk in the morning to reach here.

Looking across, Poe catches his eyes, and beams. There's something almost childish about it. Finn imagines Poe as a kid with long hair and freckles. He'd give anything for a photograph, if only to use as blackmail.

"Pass," Finn says, "if you think you're tough enough."

They make a game of it - running around the room, dodging around chairs and even sleepers. This one guy with blue horns, he starts kicking up a fuss. Poe grabs Finn's hand, and they run out together. Poe shoulders open the door. They stumble out into the corridor.

"Hey," Poe says, "you're smiling!"

Finn laughs. He lets go of Poe's hand, aware that he's been gripping it too tightly. Poe doesn't wipe his on his trousers. He looks at it for a while, and back to Finn again.

 

.

 

_+1_

 

Finn dreams of running, still. He dreams of forests with icy trees. He dreams of a man standing over him with dark eyes, and then across from him with a fire in-between them, and then with a light-sabre pressed up against his face. The man is laughing, through the mask, and the mask is gone and the face is Finn's own.

Waking from a nightmare, Finn is still, in his head, crouching on the battleground. He can smell the smoke. He can taste the acidic tang on the centre of his tongue.

"You were yelling," Poe says, from the doorway. He looks rueful, his hair tousled; his pyjama top is too small for him, straining across his arms. It must be deliberate, Finn thinks.

"Why are you standing there?" Finn asks. He blinks.

Poe takes it the wrong way. "I happened to be passing," he says. "Thought you might need somebody, judging from the way you - were."

"Right." Finn shakes his head. "Thank you."

Poe sighs. "Fine. If you must know, I was - I wanted to - "

Finn stares at Poe - at his semi-moving hands, at the quirk of his mouth, at the cleft of his jaw.

"I'm in too deep," Finn says, and laughs. He stands up. The walls don't seem to press quite so near, now.

Finn cups his face in both hands. Poe's eyes are cast black by his lashes. He's swallowing, glancing down towards Poe's chest - and Finn takes hold of his chin and kisses him. They're leaning into one another. Poe's hands are tangled in Finn's hair. Finn's heart is thrashing its way from his chest, banging and _banging_.

Poe's eyes flick from his chin to his mouth. "Well," he says, voice little more than a breath. "What do you know?"

Finn, breathless, rests his head against Poe's shoulder. Poe's hands encircle his back. He is murmuring gently, but Finn can't make out the words.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn doesn't think he's been this awkward before in his _life_. Adjusting the set of his robes, he tries to ignore the hot flush creeping up his neck. He's pretty sure his palms are sweating. This is the kind of situation, Finn thinks, where Phasma would have told him to stand up straighter.

Poe's arm tightens slightly around his back. Finn relaxes into the touch, trying not to allow his legs to buckle. His feet are killing him - running and jumping and shooting, it turns out, are nothing on a real council meeting. _Nothing_. Finn's pretty sure he can't feel the muscles in his face anymore. He's probably wearing some pained grimace.

"Relax," Poe murmurs, making Finn sigh, "you look great."

"You've gotta say that," Finn gets out. Poe's fingers slide downwards, dipping towards the rim of his hip-bone. "It's the mandatory boyfriend speech. Jessika was telling me."

Poe snorts. "Jessika's last relationship ended with her stranding her ex on a bog planet," he whispers, just lowly enough for his words not to be heard by the passing horde of diplomats. "I don't think you should be taking her advice."

Finn shrugs. "It's not as though I know what I'm doing, here."

Out of the corner of his eye, Finn watches Poe loosen his collar. He's smiling softly, eyes flashing around the room. Poe's throat comes into view, gently edging up above the line of his shirt.

"Neither do I," Poe says. "Shall we dance?"

Finn takes his hand. Poe leads the way out onto the floor with the polished ease of somebody who's been to more fundraisers and deals than he can care to name. His hand slips onto Poe's waist. When Finn looks down, Poe's mouth is open.

"One, two, three," Poe chants in his ear, sounding out the beats, but Poe's too warm, and too close, and Finn can't find the sway.

"This isn't as easy as you make it out to be," Finn pants, on his third circuit of the room. He feels as though his chest is on fire. Reaching out, Poe snags a glass of champagne from a nearby droid. Finn downs it hungrily. To his left, there's a chuckle. Finn turns around.

The man's wearing a tuxedo. He's holding a glass, and is favouring his left leg a little. "Good evening," he says, addressing himself to Poe. Finn steps back. "Well, who might this be? The great Resistance pilot?"

"Don't go saying it too loudly," Poe smirks, "or else everyone'll want a piece."

The man's eyes flicker up and down Poe's torso. Poe probably doesn't notice - it was quick, and anyhow, he's busy with his drink. Finn notices, though.

"Quite," the man says, lips curving upwards. "And who might this be?"

Finn waits. When Poe doesn't speak, he blurts, "I'm, uh, I'm a pilot too."

Finn can feel Poe's eyes on him. The man's expression is all too familiar, even if it isn't covered up by a helmet. Finn's never seen him before, but he's felt that sneer enough times for it to be familiar. That doesn't stop the sick jolt in his chest.

"May I?" the man says. It takes Finn a moment to realise he's asking Poe to dance.

"Sure," Poe says. Leaning across to Finn, he throws an arm around his shoulders. "I'll be right back, honey. Make sure you wait up for me."

"Will do," Finn calls, but Poe's already being dragged off. The man's fingers are hooked into his suit's sleeve.

 

.

 

Poe's beaming, now. His head's tipping in towards the man's; they're gliding around the floor together. The man doesn't trip over his feet. He moves with a kind of assured grace, only stopping long enough to brush a strand of hair out of Poe's eyes.

Finn can't breathe. He forces his way towards the doors. A couple spring apart as he shoves by them, cawing wildly, but Finn can't find the energy to apologise. Short of starting a war, he's pretty sure he wouldn't apologise for anything.

The hallway branches out in two separate directions. Finn can't remember which way they came in. It'd seemed a cinch, at the time, with Poe's hand on his arm. Finn picks left, and heads for the stairwell, swiping his key card across the lock.

"Finn," Poe says. His hand comes to rest on Finn's arm. Stepping back, Finn shakes him off. They're alone, now. Everybody else is back inside. The man isn't there anymore. "What's wrong, buddy?"

"Me," Finn gets out. "That's what's wrong. I can't - I can't do anything, can I? Not one thing. I can't talk properly, I can't laugh right, I can't - can't _dance_ \- "

"You're gorgeous," Poe says, lying with such ease that Finn shakes his head. In the other room, the music has begun to swell. Somebody's laughing over it. The sound grates on Finn's nerves. "Who do I have to beat up?"

The way Poe says it, Finn would almost think he was serious, if it wasn't for the look in his eyes. All Finn wants is to bury his face in the lapels of Poe's dinner jacket.

"No. No, I'm - if I wasn't, you wouldn't have been chest to chest with that - the - "

"The governor," Poe says, slowly, "who's going to be behind the rest of our funding."

Finn slumps backwards. He finds the wall there. "That's why?"

"That's why," Poe affirms. "It was a courtesy, baby, nothing more."

"Then - you - why didn't you tell me?"

Poe's lip twists, and he runs a hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd notice," he says. "You looked happy."

"I'm happy with you," Finn says, even though he doesn't mean to. "I'm not trying to be - needy. Jessika said that was a bad thing. I'm not - encroaching, am I? You can do what you want to do."

Suddenly, it occurs to Finn that what Poe probably wants the most is to be back inside, with that man fitted against him and the rest of the room looking on.

"Hey, Finn," Poe says. "Finn, look at me, please. We're _fine_. I love you. I'm not about to ditch for some kriffin' sleaze-bag with a fat purse. I danced with him because General Organa asked me to before we came. Okay? I'm going nowhere near him after this."

"But you'll find someone else," Finn says. "Someone who's pretty, and charming, and who can fly a plane without crashing it."

Poe smiles. "That wasn't your best moment," he admits, "but we got through. I mean, there was that really hot chick chatting me up in the bar earlier, but - hey, I'm _joking_."

"Didn't sound much like a joke," Finn mutters.

Poe's hand covers the side of his cheek. "I'm going to say something really stupid and ruin this," he says, "but Finn, I - I want - don't listen to Jessika. She may be a great pilot, but she doesn't know squat about romance."

"Sure," Finn says, leaning in to the touch. Poe brings up a finger, and presses it against his lips.

 

.

 

"I can't believe this," Organa says. "You were thrown off the planet for _public indecency_?"

Finn shifts.

"With respect, ma'am," Poe says, "we were only kissing."

"There are laws against that!" Organa closes her eyes. She's breathing deeply. "You are suspended until the end of the week. No buts, Dameron. I've had a very long day."

"So have we," Finn hears Poe mutter. Finn laughs, and, quietly, takes Poe's hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me @muckymagician on tumblr


End file.
